damn you aizen
by palmerkitty
Summary: jsut a little random story.
1. Chapter 1

Palmerkitty: welcome to our little random, little fanfic.

Lazycrow: this is a lazy crow. Saying hi. *yawns*

Palmerkitty: *stares at lazycrow blankly* sir, pay attention. You're the one always on my ass to write.

Lazycrow:*blank stare* … huh? Oh yeah…uh _

Palmerkitty: oh whatever, bleach isn't ours, steve and hina belong to me

Lazycrow: ranjin is mine.

Palmerkitty: *sharpens claws and slowly goes over to lazycrow*

Lazycrow: uh…kitty? You're getting to close. *flaps nervously*

Palmerkitty: *lounges*

Lazycrow: *flies away frantically* enjoy, comment, review

Palmerkitty: any flames will be ignored…this is too random to warrant any flames and if you do you're pathetic

Chapter 1

Crows, cats, and psychotic bats

Rain was falling, hitting the pavement with a pitter patter. The wind was blowing, strong enough to rip the umbrella out of a hand of a small girl. Catching it, an orange haired young man knelt down and returned it to the crying girl. Walking home, Ichigo kept his eyes open for anything that didn't belong.

In an alley a cat was prowling and in the sky a crow was cawing. This cat was none other than on the run captain of second division **Yoruichi Shiouin** wandering aimlessly in Karakura town's alleyway's. Looking for fish? (The crow we'll get to later his name is mine other author MINE)lazycrow coughs.. Let's get back to Karakura and Ichigohelping out the recently deceased.

Ichigo's eye twitched and swiftly turns and ducks as a blur of fluff comes flying by.

Ichigo growls. "Damn it Kon, what the fuck?"

Standing up, Kon points his paw at Ichigo. "Where's Rukia?"

"Hell if I knew! Do I look like her secret keeper?"

? this is a response from a crow with dark brown eyes like a human. Why would a crow have human looking eyes! Well that is simple a shinigami cursed by a hollow as it was destroyed vindictively used all the energy it had left to force a single shinigami into the shape of a crow. This poor soul has been a crow for well on 8 years. Not that long when we are talking about Soul Society aging system. His name was Ranjin(Lazy mind) Kazeto (wind gate). He was only a new recruit of the **Fifth Division** when he saw his captain wandering around suspiciously. When he saw him enter a door. Using his extremely high stealth skills that he never before showed he followed him to a lab. Now what he finds is...

Staring up, Ichigonotices a crow staring down at him. Shrugging, he brushes it off as he goes over to Kon and picks him up-"Hey, let go of me!"-and walks home. On the way home he crashes into a tall, skinny pale man that looks to be American. The man seems to be only wearing black jeans, red combat boots, no shirt, has a mohawk that's stripped neon green and neon purple, his right eye only a pupil and his left eye only a swirl.

"Watch out where you're going," the man says, smiling, flashing his shark like teeth.  
(continuation of previous...) shinigami in test tubes some of them he even knows by name. All of the people he sees are the ones that were reported missing over the period of time ex-captain Shingi and his gang were still within Seiretei. Before Aizen's deceit that they were all traitors. Now that you know a little about his past. Let's see his point of view from up high on a telephone pole. Oh man when the hell am I ever going to be able to go back to my human form I miss being human. Ranjin "sighs" ugghhh man life is so droll and boring as a f#*$ing crow all I do is fly all day and get attracted to shiny objects and eat from dumpster. Hey man I may be stuck as a crow but I will never in my whole entire human existence ever eat a worm or insect. Dude that's just gross. Let's leave this poor bored out of his mind soul to himself for now.

Rubbing the back of his head, Ichigo looked up. "Why don't you watch where you're going !"

"I'm not the one that's walking home talking to a teddy bear." the man smirks.

Ichigo blushes furiously as he throws Kon over the fence discreetly. "I have no idea what you're talking about. what are you doing here anyway? it's dark out."

"This is a clinic isn't it?" Steve asks, pointing at the house.

"Yes."

"I need assistance. A friend of mine got hit a while back."

Now back to the poor trapped soul who is somewhat interested in this situation. Seeing a grown boy with a teddy bear is quite amusing even for a trapped soul. Ichigo looks up and swears that a crow is laughing at his current predicament. Anyways Yoruichi cat form is looking at the crow in interest. Hey you try staying as a cat and resist all the feline urges. Not that she really resists except for that cat thing to do with being in heat. "Sweatdrop" She doesn't resist drinking milk, eating fish, taking long naps, and her current activity chasing birds.

_I swear that crow is watching me,_ Ichigo thinks to himself. "Where is she now?"

"Where I left her, this way." Steve says, taking off down the street.

"Wait, I need to tell my dad ! we can pick her up with the stretcher that we have!" Ichigo yells.  
Yoruichi is watching the crow with a feline glint in her eye. Beginning her hunt for said crow unbeknown to him. Ranjin on the other hand is still bored and is about to fly off of his perch when he sees something very shiny and his crow instincts kick in and force him to attempt to steal said shiny thing "sweatdrop". This "shiny" thing happens to be Ichigo's bracelet.

Crying out and swinging his arm around like the idiot that he is, Ichigo swats at the crow that he noticed watching him from before. "Is this why you were watching me? Thief!"

Suddenly, a nail ridden bat comes swinging and hits the crow.

Ranjin squawks in pain and utter surprise but still takes the bracelet for revenge and craps on Steve. Steve bellows in anger and charges sadly he can't fly and the crow is higher in the atmosphere sensing his enemy had the ability to jump very high from his reiatsu around his legs. Not to mention his tense posture as if he was seriously thinking about jumping at the crow and was confident he would hit him. Since he was no normal bird he pulsed his reiatsu and shunpoed higher into the sky "sweatdrop" with crow legs?

"Shit. sorry about that man. that bracelet mean anything to you?"

Ichigo rubs his wrist. "Kind of yeah. whatever. dad's here so let's go pick up your friend."

Steve nods and leads the way to an alley way.

Ichigo prepare yourself Ishhin begins to charge like a bull. Ichigo "groans" Not now dad can't you be normal for one second of your adult life. We have a patient. These few words change Ishhin Kurosaki's expression to a serious one. So what're we waiting for son let's go help our new patient. They all began running to the alley way.

Reaching the alleyway, Steve stops in front of a figure that is leaning on the wall. Her black hair fanned over her face. She is wearing black jeans, Black tank top with the straps to her black bra showing, and black combat boot. Next to her are a pair of night sticks. She appears to be bloodied and unconscious.

"Her name's Hina." Steve says. "You have to help her man."

Ishhin and Ichigo rush into action with Ishhin checking her injuries and tells his son to be careful while lifting her. Hina groans from the movement even while she's unconscious. On the count of three son says Ishhin 1, 2, 3, and with a groan of exertion Hina is lifted up by both father and son and is taken to their hospitalhouse immediately. Oddly enough the crow is still following the group that caught its interest with Ichigo's bracelet dangling around one of its legs. And "sweatdrop" Yoruichi is still stalking the crow especially after THAT incident

**FLASHBACK**  
Yoruichiis about to jump and when she springs at the bird it flies off and unfortunately. She hits the electric wire and almost fries to death. Thankfully even as a cat her shinigami powers made said incident non-life threatening but it still hurt a lot. She then swore revenge and with an evil glint in her eye of a pissed off woman all the wildlife ran scared for their lives away from her.  
**FLASHBACK "ENDS"**

"Is she going to be okay?" Steve asks.

Ishhin looks up. "She has a few lacerations that need to be stitched but other than that she's fine. How did she get to be like this?"

"We were sparring, and the next thing I knew she was being lifted. I swear it. couldn't see what was doing it. had to swing wildly for a few minutes before I could find it. beat the shit out of it after I found it."  
Oh that's interesting Ichigo says. When Ishhin interjects with a flying sidekick to Ichigo's face. Ha Ha I've got you son pay attention to your surroundings if you ever want to beat me. Laughing stupidly gloating at his triumph he did not notice that Ichigo was furious and if he showed it with his angry reiatsu which his father felt and began to sweat. Now son you know I am training you so you can protect your sisters right? Ichigo just stares at his extremely weird father and walks towards him slowly until he is in front of him. He then proceeds to bring back his fist for a powerful haymaker which decks his father right next to the poster of Ichigo's mom.

Ishhin stands up and rubs the back of his head. "ok you've proven your point."

"Hey, not to break your family moment, but how's Hina doing?" Steve says, swinging his bat.

"She'll be fine. come back tomorrow morning."

"Ok," Steve says, exiting the clinic.

Remembering that he still has his bat out he took a chunk of the doorway with him on his way out. All within the room "sweatdrop" at this action. Even the unconscious at this time Hina. Yuzu Ichigo's younger sister and cook of the family remarks about there being a pretty bird outside their house with what looks like Ichigo's bracelet on its leg. As well as looking at Ichigo tauntingly. Which irritates Ichigo quite a bit.

it was late, and the Kurosaki family decided to call it a night and went to bed. entering his room he left a plate of dinner on the table and knocked on his closet door. "Rukia, dinner's ready."

opening the closet door, Rukia came out and began to eat. "You're late tonight. any hollows?"

Ichigo sat on his bed and sighed. "Not really. got robbed by an ugly ass bird and then had to help some creepy guy out with his injured friend. apparently they were sparring and she got pretty beat up."

That ladies' injuries were from a spar? This comment comes to you from Karin the only member of the Kurosaki family who vehemently refuses to believe in ghosts. This is when Rukia as efficient as ever looking professional and quite nice by Ichigo's opinion. To get this opinion you would have wring it out of him with an iron maiden(medieval torture device trust me you'll confess to a lot of bullshit in this thing or stay in a lot of pain). Anywho lets go follow Yoruichi. Said feline was not feeling very good today in all of her years of existence never has she had such a worthy foe. This bird must have some sort of precognitive ability to escape all the traps she had set up for it.

"Yes, the injuries were from a spar. though by the looks on the bruises and cuts on Steve, looks like she put in a few good hits of her own." Ichigo said, putting Karin to bed.

Going back into his room, Ichigo was getting ready. And fell asleep soon.

The next morning, Ichigo woke up with Kon in his face, yelling and screaming nonsense as usual. Kicking Kon onto the wall, Ichigo went and got breakfast and left for school, not noticing that the same bird was still watching him.

Ranjin was not having a good day yesterday he had been hit and nearly decapitated by a bat attacked by a cat and distracted by some brat's bracelet. "Sweatdrop + Facefault" Wow that is so sad all of those words rhymed together. After a few minutes of self-pity he viewed the thing that held his interest at this time. One Ichigo Kurosaki and oddly enough a shinigami who looked somewhat familiar to a tall detached noble person he seemed to barely remember when he was a shinigami. Every time he thinks of those times he curses Aizen furiously and usually speaks out loud. So it came to no surprise when the person he was watching reacted like they were just electrocuted when he heard. **G"D D*&N YOU AIZEN WHEN I GET BACK TO MY REAL FORM I WILL TRAIN TILL I NEARLY BLEED TO DEATH AND WHEN I'M FINALLY STRONG ENOUGH I'LL CUT YOUR F*&^ING HEAD OFF RRRAAAAAAAAAHHH!.**

Staring at the crow Ichigo is beginning to think he is going crazy. shrugging it off, he continues walking. once he arrives, he high fives Chad. And talks with Orihime.

"Hey Ichigo!" Steve says, walking up to him.

"Steve." Ichigo says. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm an exchange student. i'll be going here now." Steve grins, showing off his shark like teeth and leans his bat on his shoulder.

Rukia appears next to Ichigo and bonks him on the head for not waking her up for breakfast and leaving home without her. Ichigo pales at this and says you wouldn't believe the reason I forgot to wait up for you. I'm still hoping that it was just a daydream and not reality. Rukia just stares at him intently jiiiiiiiiiiiiii and that look scared the hell out of him so he told her and she reacted with.

Rukia stares blankly at Ichigo, raises her eyebrow and smacks him on the top of his head. "Why didn't you tell me? It could probably be another incident like with that kid in the parakeet. Where is this crow now?"

"What are you two talking about?" Steve asks, staring intently between Rukia and Ichigo.  
both Ichigo and Rukia sweat drop as they remember they are not alone.

"It's nothing." the both say.

Our poor resident run away shinigami is very tired today due to one frustrating bird. In the future said bird is going to have hell to pay for this single day for the rest of his soul's lifetime. If he ever actually changes back to shinigami form. So uncharacteristically of her usual personality she decides to give up on Ranjin today and drink some milk and a nice long cat nap in the sunshine.

"So, can you read this and tell me what class I'm in" Steve says as he passes a paper to Ichigo.

"You're pretty much in all my classes so come along." Ichigo says as he walks toward class.  
following Ichigo into the building and into class he sees Keigo. not liking his annoying face, Steve swings his bat and hits him straight in the face.

Keigo is smacked around like a pinball but sadly the fanboy is not dead just KTFO. After this all the people in the classroom swear they heard the words "high score" in an announcer's voice. Everyone in the class "sweatdrops" ignoring the twitching body and proceeds to thank the new person for his intervention and ask him to try not to kill him next time he stops him. While unconscious everyone hears him say Et tu Ichigo also known as you too Ichigo it is a changed up line from a Caesar play where the character is surprised at an individual's act betraying him. Though with Keigo unconscious it loses its dramatic flair.  
"I don't like your face." Steve says as he pokes Keigo with his bat.

"He does have a tendency to be annoying." Rukia says.

Shaking his head and rolling his eyes, Ichigo sits down just at the teacher walks in.  
"alright. Class lets get started."

Mr. Namae calls class to order and begins calling the roll. Ichigo says here, Rukia says here, and all of their friends declare their presence as well. Well almost all of them Orihime was spacing out like usual and barely heard her name and stuttered out a h-here with a deer in the headlights expression. Which because of her innocent and ditzy demeanor makes her the center of attention which makes her squeak like a cornered mouse. Everyone "sweat drops and face faults at this action.

Steve notices this, and notices Orihime's particularly large breasts and his eye twitches in irritation. He gets up to go smack Orihime when Chizuru comes and tries to glomp Orihime, getting in the way of the bat and she gets hit instead.

"Shit damn it. Why did you get in the way?!" Steve yells as he continues to beat the living daylights out of her.

Tatsuki walks up to him and gives him a high five and says good job on exterminating the pest. Steve shrugs and says she got in the way but at least I took out a big breasted chick today unless otherwise annoyed I fulfilled my quota for today. Does that bitch always do that? Tatsuki notices Orihime's quivering form with eyes open wide like a scared kitty. Steve grunts hmm well I won't hit your friend at school if I can hit her every day. Is that good with you? Tatsuki looks at him questionably why do you hate Orihime. He again grunts and says big chest mean ditz mean beat with bat.

Teacher stares at the scene. "Steve, I'm going to ask you to go see the principal"

Steve shrugs and leaves the room with a shark grin on his face. "See you guys at lunch" he says to Ichigo.

Ichigo shrugs and goes back to napping in class ignoring the smacks from Rukia and pleading from Orihime for him to wake up and pay attention. Outside a crow is flapping around in circles around the building somehow sensing that the orange haired boy could help him change eventually into his shinigami form somehow. He knew he was grasping at straws here but Ranjin Kazeto was desperate to find a way to change back even if no one knew he was still alive.

The bell rings for the next class, waking Ichigo. He glances out the window as he lifts his head from the table and he notices the crow flying. _Damn it that things following me I swear_. He pokes Rukia and points to the crow.

"That's the one?" she asks.

Ichigo nods and begins running out of the school.

On his way home he crashes into resident smart guy and snob Uryuu Ishidia an extremely intelligent individual who is strangely wearing some kind of priest get up right now. Uryuu unruffled by the collision walks up to Ichigo and says Kurosaki I know what you are. Meet me at the park and we'll see who is better at what they do. Quincy or shinigami unless you concede your defeat to my superior power compared to your paltry reaper skills.

"Ishidia, i don't have time for this. There's something I need to get done." Ichigo says, brushing off Ishidia and starts chasing the crow.

"Ichigo! Wait up for me!" Rukia yells, running after him.

Ishidia just says hmm you'll regret that Ichigo I'm serious. Then he walks away to go to the park anyway knowing that eventually Ichigo will appear and their competition will begin. He pushes his glasses back in place firmly and continues on his way. Slipping on a Quincy glove he materializes a bow and shoots at something. He sees that there was nothing there shrugs and walks away. Yoruichi heart is pounding very fast and only just survived the arrow thanks to her instincts and training. Her thoughts are man I need to work out more Uryuu's arrow almost got me!

"Ichigo! We've been chasing this thing for hours now!" Rukia said. "Let's call it a day and try again tomorrow."

"Fine. But I swear there's something weird with that bird."

As they walk they wind up being in the park.

"Ishidia! Why are you here still? It's late. Shouldn't you be at home or something?"

"Hey!" a female voice from behind Ichigo says.

Turning around Ichigo notices that it was the girl from last night. "Hina!"

"Hey. I wanted to say thanks for the patch up."

Ishidia just waits for whatever blather the two are talking about before beginning his long drawn out spiel on the betrayal of the Quincy from the Shinigami. Ichigo mostly tunes this out even though he has a tick mark on his head from having to go through a history lesson after school was over. He notices a vial of sorts in the orator's hand sees that it looks slightly different from a normal vial with some white wispy substance inside. Now that you have heard my story Ishidia continues not caring that nobody really listened except for one black cat. He says this is hollow bait which I will use to prove that Quincy are better than Shinigami and are way more efficient.

"Um...what's this whole speal about quincies and shinigamis? shinigami is Japanese for god of death isn't it?" Hina asks, eyebrow raised.

"It's nothing," Ichigo said. "You should get out of here."

Rukia nods. "It's getting late and you're still recovering from yesterday."

Hina scoffs. "Please. Last night was nothing. Steve just got in a lucky hit that's all. So explain to me. What the fuck is going on?"

Ignoring the current situation a very intrigued crow is just out of sight watching the entire situation. He begins cawing in a laughing manner almost falling off his perch. Barely catching himself he manages not to make a commotion or large amount of noise. Since he feels that he is not close enough he flies down to the park swiftly using his reiatsu to make it look like a sudden gust of wind. In his new hiding place a tree in the middle of the park actually nearly above the people talking he hears everything and is surprised that a Quincy still exists.

Ishidia does what he plans to do and hollows appear wildly.

"What on earth do you think you're doing?!" Ichigo yells.

"This is a contest to see who is better. Are you afraid?" Ishidia asks as he takes out hollow after hollow.

Hina is looking at them confused. "What on earth is going on?"

Rukia shakes her head. "There is no time to explain. Get out of her quickly." she says as she goes into the shinigami form.

Quickly Ichigo apologizes and knocks Hina out with a swift blow to the back of the head and asks Rukia for the memory altering thing. Rukia shakes her head wishing she could do that but knows that she is low on any kind of shinigami power including her shikai. Which she has no access to at the current time she sighs in frustration at this. While Ichigo in the thick of battle between hordes of hollow is cutting them down left and right with no end in sight. During this he yells at Uryuu What the hell is your problem man what kind of bait are you using. This doesn't look like a survivable situation asshole! Because of you I think our goose isn't just cooked but basted with a nice side of stuffing to go with it.

Sensing that something is near her, Hina gets off the ground and at the same time takes out her night sticks and hits something really hard. "The fuck. the hell is going on. Ichigo? Black haired lady? Where'd you guys go? Hey! Sir with the glasses! What did I just hit?"

Ishidia looks at Hina with surprise as he continues to take down the hollows. _She can hit them...but it appears she cannot see them. How can this be?_

Hina continues to assault the invisible creature. "Sir, are you going to say something?"

Ichigo thinks she's the same as Chad over there just shooting off blasts where Rukia tells him. "Sweatdrop" but how did she get her ability if she wasn't near me... Oh well I'll think about this later right now I just have to make sure Karakura town survives this and never knows it could have happened. Curiosity may have never killed the cat but it seriously was laying the hurt on our feathered friend. Making him use reiatsu he hadn't used in a long time. He kept flying around while saying choice words about Aizen in his head while dodging the abundance of hollows.

Following her instinct Hina is fighting as if she could see the hollows when she suddenly stares at the space. Standing there, even though she couldn't see it, was a menos. "I'm getting really tired of being kept in the dark! What on EARTH is that!" she yells pointing at the menos' general direction.

Ichigo blanches white and looks at Rukia Well what the heck is that thing. Rukia looks at it with fear and says one word laced with worry **Menos**. Seeing Rukia like that made Ichigo charge at it and jump up to slice at its face. Sadly he wasn't strong enough to break the mask but he did make a crack. Enough for the beleaguered Quincy to stick an arrow into it and say Ichigo flare your reiatsu. Ichigo looks at him and Uryuu just shouts come on its our only chance. Now during this entire debacle one bird with reiatsu was flying around dodging for its life when a huge sword shaped arrow came out of nowhere and almost hit him. This arrow pushed him pretty close to the Menos.  
When the SwordArrow hit the Menos it broke the mask. But that wasn't the only thing that happened. The potent energy of combining Quincy and Shinigami powers blasted back and hit the poor bird. Making it even more tired. Then when everything seemed calm Ranjin Kazeto flew down and landed not far away from Ichigo's group. Suddenly he felt a pulse throughout his body. It grew stronger and stronger until his body was growing to human proportions and a wind picked up. Ichigo's group immediately put up their guard and were expecting a new threat to emerge. Only to find in a flare of bright light of heavy reiatsu find a young man an inch shorter than Ichigo in a shihakushou. His hair color was dark blue and his eyes that keep shifting to different shades of blue. He was quite fit looking even in the uniform he was wearing not buff but quite muscled not unlike a swimmer. He also had a pendant of a dragon with blue gems in its eyes and one on in its torso. The first words to come out of his throat was huh in a rather confused and bemused tone with a deer in the headlights look.

"Ok, this is not cool. Where is Ichigo and the black haired chick? Hey you with the glasses! What are you staring at?" Hina says.

Ichigo, not paying attention to Hina, stares at the new shinigami. "Who are you?"  
U-h-h please excuse me his voice still a little scratchy "clears throat" In a calm, lazy tone says hello my name is Ranjin Kazeto unseated shinigami of the 5th division. Mutters under breath "though now I wish I had been in a different division."

"Ranjin?" Rukia says, a look of recognition in her eyes. "Aren't you one of the shinigami that went missing a while back?"

Ichigo looks back between Rukia and Ranjin and has a confused look on his face. "You know him?"  
Hina stamps her foot and crosses her arm. "This is NOT funny. Explain to me what the fuck just happened." her anger is so extreme that everyone there could feel a little bit of reiatsu raise out of Hina.

Ranjin "sweatdrops' somehow sensing the bustier black haired chick exuding a hint of reiatsu. Wondering aloud without thinking says human alive reiatsu? He then attempts to stand up. Sadly falls quickly on ass with big flapping motions of hands still not fully trusting he is back in his shinigami form for real and this is not a dream. Still blinking in confusion he tries to jump up and flap his arms. In crow form this works in shinigami form all who see this ROTFL. This time since he has his shinigami powers he jumps quite high and yet again lands on his ass quite hard this time so much that his impact left a foot deep crater in the ground he landed on.

Staring blankly at the crater that appeared out of nowhere, Hina walks over to the crater and does a kicking action.

Ranjin still lacking his old skills is KTFO after Hina's kick to his stomach.

"What did i just kick?" Hina asks.

"I believe you just kicked a shinigami." Ishidia says, laughter in his voice.

"You still have not explained what that is."

Ishidia explains everything to Hina.

"So pretty much you're telling me that ghosts exist and shinigamis go around freeing spirits and getting rid of hollows. and quincys have more efficient ways of getting rid of them."

"Pretty much."

"So why can't i see them?" Hina asks, hands crossed.

"You probably don't have enough reiatsu."

Ichigo grabs the unconscious shinigami to take him to Urahara's place. Sadly the introduction the unconscious soul made was only heard by Ishidia, yoruichi, and Rukia. When he wakes up Ichigo will ask for his name again. All the group follows Ichigo to his destination.

"So who are you?" Hina asks looking at Urahara.

"I am Urahara. Shopkeeper of this lovely store. I sense you were with them when this incident went down?"

Nodding Hina crossed her arms. "I'm a little pissed i can't see Ichigo or the black haired one. But it's alright. Sir with the glasses over here explained to me what's going on."

Urahara tapped his chin with his fan. "What I find intriguing is that you can fight hollows when you can't see them. you must have very good instincts."

"Kinda need them when you're dealing with Steve."

"Who now?" Urahara stares at her.

"A friend of mine. unpredictable."

Ranjin stirs from the mat that he was placed on.

Huh W-where am I? He looks with a nearly pitiable confused face and tilts his head to the side heightening his confused look. Hina just stares blankly and "sweatdrops" ok this dude looks like he has no clue where the hell he is. Urahara interjects with He probably doesn't I know this will be hard to believe but he has been a crow for eight years and would still be stuck as one if not for this incident. He is very confused right now since he has been living as a crow. I am quite astonished he can still speak and doesn't caw like a crow all the time.

Hina just stares at Ranjin. "Musta sucked. how'd you turn into a crow anyways?"

Ranjin, still looking around confusedly, explains.

"this Aizen person sounds like a dick." Hina says with a motherly-over-protective glint in her eyes.

Ranjin's turn a dark almost black blue If I remember anything from my life before being a crow it is that Aizen Sousuke is the biggest asshole there is out there in this universe. Then he calms down and his eyes change back to a solid cobalt blue and asks I'm not in the Seireitei now am I? Urahara replies nope you're in the human world didn't you know that? he said with a quizzical and wtf expression. Yeah I did but I'm just yanking your chain he says chuckling a bit with his eyes changing to a lighter but not quite sky blue.

Hina turns to Urahara and asks, "Do you have a kitchen?"

Urahara just looks at her and says, "I might. Why?"

"I'm hungry and I'm sure these three are," Hina says, pointing at Rukia Ichigo and Ishidia' stomachs all groan at once. "I'm going to cook, if you don't mind."

All three blush quite brightly and oddly doesn't look weird on the new guy with nearly all blue characteristics. Ranjin and Ichigo laugh nervously hehehe uhh I haven't eaten anything in about three days... The rest of the group sweatdrops and facefaults at this except for Hina who gives a very disapproving glare reminiscent of Unohana's scary smile a captain of the fourth healing division feared by all even the captain-commander.

Hina heads to the kitchen without waiting for a response and starts to cook. When she is done, she comes out with a large platter of food and places it in the middle of the table. She looks over at Urahara. "I'm going to go grocery shopping." she says staring blankly into Urahara's eyes. "Your kitchen is pathetic."

Urahara "sweatdrops". "By all means, I'm so grateful you plan on doing that."

Everyone starts to dig in.

Ranjin nearly cries in happiness finally I can eat food not leftovers a bird can get at but real food. No longer will I have to starve when there are no leftovers no thoughts of giving in to the urge to eat worms. I can eat real food again. He jumps up forgetting how to land with his legs and his poor posterior takes even more punishment than it already has. Everyone in the room face faults in their own crater and slowly get up and continue eating. The food was so good that even that action could not distract them into conversation and they commented every now and then at the culinary treat.

"If that's all to it, I need to go. Steve is out there and lord knows what he gets up to." Hina says walking out of the room.

"Thanks for the food." Ishidia says.

"Thank you~" Ranjin says, tears of happiness leaking down as he continues to eat.

"Thanks!"says everyone else.

Walking down the street Hina takes out her night sticks and begins to twirl them around with speed and agility. Hearing screams from a nearby alleyway, she heads over. When she is into the alleyway she sees a poor civilian being beaten to nonexistence by the one and only psychopathic Steve. Walking up to Steve and hitting him in the ribs with a nightstick. "Oi, last I need is to be paying for is bail for your stupid ass."

"What's it to you. This fucker was up in my face."

Hina looks down and notices that it is a male civilian that looked like at one point he was a gangster wanna be. shaking her head and kicking the poor civilian out of the way rather harshly. "Jesus, you always attract shit like them don't you?"

Steve randomly swings his bat oddly enough missing the young wannabe entirely and hitting a black cat. Immediately Steve goes to check if it's okay and picks it up gently and puts some gauze around where he hit it and set the young cat on its way. Hina hefts a nightstick and swings it very hard at his stomach. He says I deserve that for hitting an animal right? Hina just says you're damn right you are I can take you beating civilians and big breasted chicks but animals you going senile. That is where I draw the fucking line you got psycho bat boy.

Walking away wondering what the hell just happened. Yoruichi thinks to herself that she's losing her touch. _I believe that i will refrain from following the mohawked one from now on._

This is when Yoruichi remembers the new shinigami and begins thinking I wonder if he gets flustered near the opposite sex and gets a glint in her eyes. Meanwhile Ranjin feels an ice cold chill down his spine fearing the future. He never ignores these shivers and begins thinking on what or who could make him shiver in his short life here. Yes the hat guy was creepy that's not it, then there was that mohawk guy who hit him, and then... no not that cat please tell me no he then started groaning it's the cat isn't it just by saying it my dread grows larger.

Walking into the shop, still in cat form, Yoruichi walks straight to Ranjin and transforms back into a shinigami. Smirking mischievously, she awaits his reaction.

Ranjin senses a presence but doesn't look at it at first. He cautiously asks if anyone's there. Naturally Yoruichi says nothing waiting for this young man's reaction with a seductive cat ate a canary smirk. He finally turns around hoping no one's there sadly luck flips him the bird a big one. His reaction when he sees the stunning form of the naked Yoruichi who did not cover anything up at all was quite comical. First he feels a tightness in his pants then he starts stuttering and becomes flustered making his face glow a scarlet red and finally after the sensory overload promptly is ktfo so he doesn't go into a cardiac arrest.

Chuckling, Yoruichi pokes the poor man with her toe. "That was amusing."

"You are an evil, evil person." Urahara says, fan over his face as he throws clothes at the female.

Putting them on, Yoruichi shrugs. "What are we going to do? Something needs to be done with Ichigo's training. And Orihime Chad and this Hina person seem to be affected somehow. Do you think we should train them to help Ichigo?"

Urahara aka hat and clogs just lowers his hat over his eyes and says you forgot our feathered friend now why would you forget him? Yoruichi grins he's coming too but I wonder if he can change back into that bird form of his. I'll be training him back to what he was hopefully pumping him for information on what happened to him as well as finding out how powerful his shikai is if he can still use it after being stuck in that form for all this time. This is when she hears the scream SHINY from the just unconscious individual and is shocked when he goes for her necklace with an animal glint in his eyes. He then stops before touching her and says errm s-s-sorry I think my crow instincts are acting up seeing almost anything shiny activates them. It really is very bothersome now that I'm back to my original form.

Both Urahara and Yoruichi"sweat drops". "I guess we'll have to wait for tomorrow before we can do anything." Urahara says.

Yoruichi nods and turns back into cat as she walks out the shop.

END OF CHAPTER 1


	2. Chapter 2

**Lazycrow: why the hell do I have to fly with a cat in my talons? T^T  
Palmerkitty: put me down and you wouldn't -_-  
Lazycrow: if I don't you'd never work the next chapter and I'm not taking that risk.  
Palmerkitty: *twitch* shut the fuck up, I kept my part…I want to sleep  
Lazycrow: you think I don't like to sleep. That is a lie. You've been avoiding this all this time -_-#  
Palmerkitty: have not. Circumstance just didn't allow me. *scoff*  
Lazycrow: oh…but I finally got you so let's get this over with  
Palmerkitty: *sigh* bleach is not ours no shall it ever be. Hina and steve are my characters  
Lazycrow: ranjin kazeto is mine  
Palmerkitty: now could you please put me down. I swear I'll get steve on your ass  
Lazycrow: if you promise to work on this more.  
Steve: *throws bat at crow*  
Lazycrow: *dodges and lets go of kitty* read, review, enjoy  
Palmerkitty: lands on feet and runs under random porch* flames will be ignored. Simple solution to this problem. You no like? Why the fuck are you reading?**

Start of Chapter 2  
Clueless Bird Mischievous Cat

The next day the sun had just begun to shine and wind was blowing quite softly rustling nearby trees. Inside Urahara's candy shop slept a blue almost black haired young shinigami who refused to get up. First time I've been in bed in a long time. I'm not ruining this chance to sleep in. Unfortunately for him one person had his day planned out and for once was up and raring to go. This is an oddity because usually this person would be doing the same as Ranjin Kazeto until Urahara's employee Tessai woke her up to eat breakfast.

Stretching, Yoruichi gets up and makes herself something to eat. she was just going for something simple and easy to make. When she finished eating, she heard a crash and a loud yelp from where Ranjin was left to sleep. Walking to see what happened, she sees a bat laying next to the man who now has a large lump on his forehead. Why does that bat...oh no...not him. She thinks as she face palms.

Ranjin at this moment in time is seeing the galaxy from a different dizzy perspective the floor... Man oh man did that hurt what the heck hit me? After 10 minutes of reorienting himself with the world of the living he wonders with a sweatdrop how the hell did that hit me it doesn't even have reiatsu? Wait a second am I in a gigai right now. Oh great my first morning awaking back in human form and I'm thrust into a gigai... Man my life is all kinds of f*&^ed up. Well I hope the rest of my day doesn't suck too much. Nah who am I kidding with my luck today will be one of the worst days of my life ughhh man that bat hit me hard.

"HEY! WHERE'D MY BAT GO?" Steve yells in the background.

Shit, it IS him.

There is knocking at the door and Hina comes in without waiting for a response. She sees Ranjin with a very large bruise on her head and face palms. "You idiot!" she mumbles underneath her breath. Walking over to Ranjin, she pulls a first aid kit out of her bag and bandages his head. "I'm so sorry about that."

Ranjin just looks dazedly with sky blue eyes at Hina and says it's alright at least this probably won't be the worst thing in my life today. Hina looks at him quizzically what's with the depressing monologue? Buck up today can only get better... "sweatdrop" as long as Steve doesn't actually hunt you down and hit you for no reason today. Ranjin just thinks this I just want today to be over already. I remember just before Aizen screwed up my life. The division greeting was horrifying. Stuff kept flying at me and banana peels appeared out of nowhere. Even the captain-commander laughed in my face. I still have no idea why he was there at that time though. His eyes turn into a very dark blue and rain cloud appears over his head in his depression.

Hina sighs. "How about I make some chocolate chip pancakes?"

Ranjin looks up and enthusiastically nods.

"Good." she says, standing up. "Bring in the grocery's you brat and apologize to the poor guy you hit."

Steve comes in with bags upon bags in his arms. enough bags filled with food to feed an army. "I ain't saying shit to no one."

Hina takes out her batons in a threatening manner do it or else I go psychotic demon your ass! Ranjin "sweatdrop" and makes mental note Never piss off Hina NEVER! At least I found out one thing that could save my life. Now I know not to make fun of or pester her although doing such a thing is way too much of a waste of my time when I could be training, sleeping or eating. Steve just gives Hina a stare why not I was bored today anyway. If you go ape shit crazy I won't be bored so let's go. His bat somehow manages to get in his hand not by reiatsu but the power OF THE AUTHOR MUAHAHAHAHAH!

Hina rolls her eyes, "Come put the food away first you idiot."

Yoruichi watches with amusement and leans on the wall.

"Make me," Steve says.

Raising her eyebrow, Hina places a hand on her hip. "You want food? or you want to starve?"

Grumbling, Steve goes into the kitchen and puts down the bags and then attacks Hina from behind.  
ducking and spin kicking, hits Steve and sends him flying right into Urahara's room.

We'll get to that fight later on. The result will make you question your sanity. Anywho during this Ranjin's stomach growls like a caged animal wanting food. Hina hearing this immediately gets behind Steve and with her motherly instincts in play uses that extra motivation to pile drive his head into the floor with just a full-powered hit of her batons. Everyone sweatdrops and facefaults at this. They had all thought that breakfast would take forever to appear. But thanks to one former crow's stomach all their prayers were answered with delicious melt in your mouth chocolate chip pancakes.

"What the hell is lying in the middle of my room?" Urahara says, stepping from the basement.

"That is Steve. never mind him and come eat breakfast." Hina says.

Urahara comes over and starts eating.

"So, what were you doing down there?" Hina says.

I was just organizing some things it was quite messy when I went down there. Hina just gives him a look a hard look and says Is that really what you were doing down there? Urahara starts to sweat in his head he is thinking "how does she know I'm lying she is scaring the crap out of me and I used to be a captain?" He tries make something up but as soon as he opens his mouth he sees her batons pretty close to Urahara jr. and he gulps. She then gives a cheshire cat smile "Now before you answer she says a little too sweetly her look goes darker tell me the truth are you getting stuff together to experiment on my friend over there?

Urahara gulps. "N-no! it's really just something to help you and a few other of Ichigo's friends build and retain reiatsu."

"Ah, which means I'll have to send Steve away then wouldn't I?"

Urahara bends down on his gigai's knees and begs her please please pleeeease. Everyone Facefaults a crater into the ground. Yoruichi appears out of nowhere and drop kicks him to the ground. She then says lazy bastard and walks to the fridge to get some milk and eat some more pancakes.

Hina sighs, goes over to Steve, drags him from the foot, and throws him out the store.

"So Ranjin," Hina says, looking at the blue haired shinigami. "Tell me, what possessed you to follow Aizen that night?"

He didn't have his mask on. Hold on let me explain to everyone else in my squad he looked so perfect, trustworthy and open. But me I saw him for what he was a lying sneaking son of a *&^*$. The only reason I even thought he was faking his entire attitude was that it just happened to be all my friends I made at the shinigami academy. I'm surprised he never thought I didn't catch onto his scheme. He was dead *&^&*^* meat after my first couple of friends vanished under his watch. That is when I started training in secret my stealth abilities. Even though I wanted second division I wanted justice more. That night was to be the first of many nights where I got incriminating evidence Aizen taichou he said and spat out a wad of spit.

Hina's eye twitched. "And he's still a captain?"

Urahara, who had sat down during the explanation fanned himself as he said, "Yes,he is."

Hina looks over to Urahara. "So Urahara, you going to be training me?"

"No," Yoruichi says. "I'll be in charge of that."

She says this with a big smile and a fish in her mouth. Hina nearly sweatdrops at the sight... Well okay then let's get to it now. Yoruichi just stares at her after I finish my snack. She then throws the fish in the air and jumps up and goes to town on it until it is only fish bones. She then lets out a satisfied sigh and says alright let's get this over with. Yoruichi then tells Hina to follow her and not ask any questions until they arrive at their destination.

Hina rolls her eyes. "You always like that?"

"Pretty much."

"Tsk." Hina takes out her night sticks and begin to twirl them around professionally. "What's going to happen with Ranjin?"

We have something special planned for him. Urahara shows creepy research face and begins saying heeheehee. Before she walks away she says Tessai keep your boss in line. If I find the new guy hooked up to numerous machines and not training. She then gives him a deadly stare I will destroy all of your lollipop stash! Urahara twitches and says but we need to find out about his abilities, zanpakuto, and reiatsu level he says all this in a whiny voice with a syringe in his hand. Then find out by a having a test instead of researching and testing on him like a LAB RAT!

Hina just raises her eyebrow. "Is he always like that?"

"At the best of times yes." Yoruichi said.

Rolling her eyes, "How are you planning to do this? And am I going to be training with anyone else?"

Well after Urahara is done with Ranjin I'll evaluate his skills myself and see what kind of style he uses and what his zanpakuto can do. She then licks her lips and says mischievously with a twinkle in her eye Not to mention getting my revenge for what he did as a bird. Hina looks at her curiously he was a bird and then adds What did he do?

"Don't worry about it, just some fun I might have."

Hina stops twirling her night sticks and stares blankly at Yoruichi. "What are you planning on doing?"

They have reached their destination and Yoruichi begins explaining the training. After hours of practicing, Hina has some control of reiatsu and goes back up to make lunch.  
"Urahara!" Hina yells as she enters into the main house.

Urahara sticks his head out of a door. "Yes."

"I'm making lunch, whatever you're doing to Ranjin can wait until after both of you have eaten."

A faint voice says Yay and bounds away as fast as possible from Urahara's lab. Ranjin says thanks for the help in moving but I don't want to ever have to do that again. It was way too weird man it still gives me the chills. Everyone then appears quite tired and ready to rest a little before the rest of their training session. Chad looks beat, Hina shows a little fatigue and oddly enough Ichigo and Ranjin are just a little out of breath. That's when Urahara appears and says after we eat I want to see how both of you are with reiatsu and your shikais. Ichigo "sweatdrops" umm… I'm not sure what my shikai is?

Hina sighs. "Didn't Rukia explain to you when she showed you how to be a shinigami?"

Ichigo taps his chin in thought. "She might have I don't know."

"How do you not know? She either did or she didn't."

Orihime steps in. "Well maybe he needs to rest and then he'll remember."

Hina stares at orihime. "You like him don't you?"

Orihime blushes bright red and runs out the room.

"Figures." Hina says.

Ranjin finishes his food quickly and tries to escape the room before Urahara noticed. So that he wouldn't have to use his shikai and be part of more of his "experiments." Urahara trips him on his way out the door. The same door Yoruichi was about to exit. Yoruichi could have dodged it but she loves flustering young men. The position she lands in is quite purposeful straddled across his legs with her chest suffocating the poor crow. She then puts her mouth way too close to his ear and says "OOPS."  
Blushing beet red, Ranjin flops around until he is off of Yoruichi, apologizes profusely and stumbles out of the room. Hina rolls her eyes and finishes her meal. "We're taking an hour's break simply because I said so."  
Hina leaves the room and follows Ranjin. After finding him, she sits next to him. "I need you to describe what Aizen looks like."/  
Ranjin says how could I forget his short brown hair kind-looking brown eyes and the fake smile always plastered to his face. He probably doesn't even need those glasses and every time I saw his face I just knew he was secretly laughing at everyone. But sadly no one else saw what I saw and the only reason I even saw that is because I can actually see his zanpakuto though I will never tell him that. For such an asshole his zanpakuto is very beautiful like his soul may once have been. That is not so now because of what I witnessed that night and the night I saw past his illusions. That was when I saw him release his zanpakuto at the academy the day after I achieved my shikai in secret.  
"How is it that you noticed and not the others? Sorry for being all pushy, but I want to get to the  
bottom of this." Hina says, hand on Ranjin's shoulder.  
In the background a red hairedman crouches on a roof top in front of a raven haired man wearing a  
white scarf.  
Ranjin tenses I know you're out there are you a grunt for the "honorable" captain Aizen Sousuke. Ranjin then draws out his zanpakuto and says let's see how rusty I've gotten with just my blade. He then bounds outside to clash blades with said red-haired perpetrator. Unlike this orange haired lout I can actually sense reiatsu quite well thank you very much! He then proceeds to say even without my shikai I can do some things like this. Kaze Shiro! (A barrier of nearly invisible wind appears in about a fifteen meter radius of him and stabilizes though is still quite hard to see even as it acts as a barrier.) Ranjin's blade in its sealed form is a blade of shifting colors much like his eyes it is 3 feet long is two and a half inches wide and even sealed is serrated all around with a almost black hilt to a blade goes from nearly black at the hilt to the lightest of blues at its edge.  
"Whoa, whoa, Captain Aizen is not here! Who the hell are you anyway and how do you know Captain  
Aizen?" Renji says, glaring at Ranjin.  
"Be calm, Renji," Byakuya says. He takes a good look at Ranjin. "I believe you to be Ranjin Kazeto that  
went missing a few years ago. Am I correct?"  
Ranjin looks at his author for a moment and says What the hell did I do to be remembered? A voice only heard by him answered and says dude I think you just happened to be one of the most attractive and approachable guy in Seireitei at the time of course they would remember. Ranjin "SWEATDROPS" and thinks in his brain "dude I did not expect to actually be answered…" The voice says You're welcome and disappears. Only to make everyone facefault to the ground at these actions made by this individual.  
Byakuya and Hina raises their eyebrows at the scene. Renji just looks lost.  
"Ranjin, what's going on? I can't really see you guys just yet when you're not in your gigais. All I see is a  
little fuzziness of where I think you are." Hina says.

Staring at Hina in surprise Byakuya speaks to Ranjin. "You told her about us?"  
"No," Ranjin says. "A quincy told her."  
"A quincy? They still exist?"  
Yes yes we still do well at least I do. This comes from a voice on a rooftop at a distance where he could easily fire long distanced attacks. No thanks to what you did to my ancestors and grandfather all those years ago! Uryuu then reveals his bow made from reishi with his glove on he begins to draw back and charge an arrow to begin shooting. Then he says I may not like shinigamis but I have come to respect the one you are trying to take away from us now leave or face the wrath of the last QUINCY!  
Both Ishida and Ranjin get beat down. Hina's instincts tell her to not get into it as she runs to Ishida, because he is the only one she can see properly, and begin giving him first aid.  
"Stop!" Rukia says, running down the street. "Renji stop! Please. It's me you're looking for right? I'm right here!"  
Rukia follows Renji and Byakuya and as soon as the door closes, Ichigo comes running by. "Rukia wait!" He skids to a stop as Rukia vanishes from sight.  
This is when Byakuya turns around and says nuisance I will take you out for your insolence. Even if it was to defend your family Rukia has done a great wrong by our society's rules and will take punishment for her actions immediately as ordered by our ruling body. He then shunpos to where ichigo and ranjin are and stabs them in their soul sleep and soul link. Ichigo starts to get up only for Rukia to reprimand him and say Get away from me and die in peace with what time you have left Ichigo! She turns away and lets some tears slip out. She doesn't realize he is still conscious and sees her tears. Ichigo then thinks "Damn it I couldn't do anything" he then slips into unconsciousness. Ranjin does not go peacefully though he gets up and charges while bleeding out and accidentally hits Rukia dead on in the stomach and during all of this a purple sphere unknown to both transfers to ranjin. He then collapses and says ha should have used my shikai his last thoughts are "Hah Aizen I knew about the hougyoku I'm smarter than you thought I was and took what you want most and you will never know I did it!" and falls down now in even worse condition than Ichigo. 


End file.
